MY Child

She is so sacred, so holy. And she allowed me. I fear it is too much of a responsibility to allow her in. I fear I can’t protect her enough. But she sat there and begged. She looked at me and opened her big eyes. And her eyes spoke louder then words, she made me feel like she trusts me so much. She just wanted it to happen already. She wanted to be hugged. She wanted safety.

She said she knows I am the one who will care for her better than anyone else. She gave me puppy eyes while she has hopping up and down. She couldn’t wait. And I could not wait any longer. I wanted her as badly. I wanted to protect her and hold her. I wanted to give her a hug and let her know she is the holiest child I’ve met. I don’t want to fail her.

She is sacred. She is the essence of what a survivor means. And a surviver like that, deserves honor. Respect. Admiration. Love.

I looked at her in awa. In awa of what she has been through and how she has been so patient, how she waited for me to be ready. Her soul was tormented so much, and she still has such class and elegance not putting her self first. I felt so much respect to her, I can barely touch her.

I had to listen well, listen to her say to me, you think, you think you need to respect me, to look up to me, to act to me as if I’m sacred, she talked and I sat there silently and I listened.

She said, I am you. Your love to me is love to self. Your respect to me is respect to self. You treasure me inside of you, Cuz I am you. She said all this while she spread her energy all over me, she climbed in, or emerged her self in to me. She filled my heart, my chest my ribcage, my arms. She climbed in, and spread her self all over. She said to me, we are one.

You am you, you are me. And I cried. I’ve never self so much love, I saw an image of the כרובים facing each other. My eyes were closed as I watches them, they were 2 holy, spiritual lovers that leaned in and kissed. It was pure. It was holy. It was sacred. She is holy. She survived a Holocaust, I respect her, I admire her, she is קדוש. She is I. She said, I am you. I am her. We are one. I am pure, I survived. I am holy. I am love. She loves me. I love her even more. I couldn’t wait. She came in, and I melted. We blended. We became one. I respect her. I respect “us”. I respect me. I respect us.

I am honored to be her safe place. I am honored to be with her, for the rest of her live. For the rest of her journeys. I am at peace. She is at peace. We are both still so emotional. In shock and can’t even believe we are together at last.

She came in and collapsed in to me. She is here to stay. She will never handle being hurt again. She is trusting.

She is home. I am home. I am her home. We are one.

T.

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Fresh Start

Helping members of the Jewish community understand their past, to create a better future. All content is written by FSRC Alumni/Staff. www.jewishfreshstart.com